Last month, my book received a heartfelt 5-star review that moved me to happy tears (like so many of them do). Today, I’m sharing a heartfelt 2-star review that offers a wonderful lesson.

I knew this day would come. After four months of amazing reviews for No Man’s Land, the honeymoon was over, and I received my first steaming turd.

When I published No Man’s Land, I figured not everyone would like it. But what I failed to predict was that a reader would give it a bad review because they didn’t like the person I was ten years ago.

All I can say is — get in line, Shari.

As I freely admitted in the book, I disliked myself so much back then, I couldn’t see why anyone would want to marry me. I disliked myself SO MUCH, I was actually plotting to murder myself a decade ago. Would I have crossed the street to avoid myself back then, if I could? Yes. Yes I would.

In fact, I did avoid my true self for many, many years. That was the problem.

The solution was to face the unsavory parts of myself that I didn’t like or understand. That’s the whole point of my book — to show the personal transformation that can happen when we dig in deep, face some uncomfortable truths, and begin taking steps toward positive change.

Sure, it’s a bummer that Shari’s review brought my star-average down. But it doesn’t make me mad. Instead, I see Shari’s review as a gift because it reminds me of this:

If I wouldn’t have taken that first step toward self-reflection back in 2016, I might be navigating the world like Shari is today, leaving mean-spirited reviews of other women who dare to speak honestly about their personal struggles. Who dare to be seen as “not nice.”

Or, far worse, I could have ended up dead — I’m not kidding here — with all that silent outrage and bitterness and self-loathing buried with me, and an epitaph that reads “She was nice.”

So, thank you, Shari, for reminding me how far I’ve come in ten years. And that bulldog profile photo? Chef’s kiss.